


like kids

by beanfriedfritters



Series: twitter & other harls x pete stuff [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Harley is a little shit, M/M, Peter is a Little Shit, This Is STUPID, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony is done, Twitter, also v short, and shit, but i tried, im also v bad at dialogue so this is going to be great, ive never used twitter i’m formatting it like i’ve seen on this site, probably, this is gunna be shittttt soooooo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 11,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanfriedfritters/pseuds/beanfriedfritters
Summary: baby boys on twitterpuppy love and tony stark being Done.





	1. internofstark

yeeter peter @internofstark

hi :) i’m tony starks fave intern :)) he loves me

 

> soft lollipop @fircone

are you though

 

>> bloody kids @eightyyearold

so many fake accounts nowadays 🙄😂

view more replies

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeahhhh i ammmm @STARK back me uppppp

 

>>>>TONY @STARK

Kid, this is such a bad idea.

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

eat a toe mr stark :( party pooper

 

FREshAvocAdoooo @bigboyben

did tony stark just- i-

view more replies

———

yeeter peter @internofstark

tony stole stephens jumper and now won’t give it back

 

> TONY @STARK

Hush child. That is a damn lie.

 

soft lollipop @fircone

that,,,,is, so,,, softtt

 

four smol beans @millymooooo

uwu-ing hard boiiisss

 

—-

fruity bella @notbellaswan

so we all just collectively agree that @internofstark is tellin the truth right?

 

kylie is me @spideystannn

yes.

——- 

yeeter peter @internofstark

@STARK won’t let me get a puppy :(((

 

>iron man is better @irnmaneatme

what,,, do you like,,,,, live with him?😱

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

noooo 😂 mr stark only wishes

———

yeeter peter @internofstark

tony stark is a traitor to all of time and humanity 

 

TONY @STARK

Honestly kid it’s not a big deal

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

not a big deal?!? not a big- honeyyy you got a big storm comin

 

> julia please @behavechild

what did he do?

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

he told me hes never watched brooklyn 99

 

> plop plop @tyingthenoose

omg this is- this is a disgrace  
educate him now young intern

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

oh i shall. we will not sleep until he has seen it all

 

blah blah blah @carolinerhodes

wait i thought he said he didn’t live with him...

———

harley @potatogunner

tony stark can eat my shoe

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

oh shut up. you’re just salty brother dear. but tony does love me better

>> harley @potatogunner

it’s really sad how i can’t repute that.


	2. height

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what i wrote last night at like 2am so..
> 
> also i’ve never been to ny - i’ve never even left europe so... if i get things wrong or anything just tell me an i’ll fix it :))) or attempt to

yeeter peter @internofstark

i have to fill out a form for my internship today,,, and i’ve never felt so attacked??

 

firstly hush @harriettaaaaaa

what why?

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

tony didn’t let me put average height :(( he drew another box that said tiny above it and made me tick it :(((

 

>firstly hush @harrietaaaaaa

wow how small are you?

 

>>TONY @STARK

He’s very small. Around 5ft6.

 

>>>yeeter peter @internofstark

you can’t talk mr stark you’re only 5ft7

 

>>>> uh i’m not you @chickenlittle

whoa no he always looks taller??? isn’t pepper potts like 5ft8????

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

ahahah he wears lifts so tall his feet hurt when he gets home :)))

 

TONY @STARK

On a completely unrelated note, I am in need of a new intern? Any takers?

 

view more replies

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

muhahahaha payback is a bitch :)))

 

——-

harley @potatogunner

hey i think the mechanic replaced me :(

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

ha yeah @internofstark is just better

 

>> harley @potatogunner 

now that’s rude you bitch

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

i’m allowed, tony gave me permission 

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

:(

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

hey poll to force stephen strange to get a twitter ?

yes —-77%  
no—-11%  
who?? —-12%

 

> the avengers love chicken @meowmeow

who is it? i dunno. do i care? no. tony stark stole this ‘stephens’ jumper you say? so imma say yaaaa

 

>> oppy please @spaceboiii

yaaaaaaah

view more replies

yeeter peter @internofstark

ahahah i winnn @STARK :)))) we must set one up now. twitter said so

 

TONY @STARK

Fine. You’re coming over later right? 

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

yes of course :) i’ll see you later.

——

Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

This is forced and unwanted socialisation.

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

shush you have no choice :) also that’s a moood dr strange

 

TONY @STARK 

Kid the only way you could get him to agree was by promising to pick up some Thai. Have you done it yet?

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

yesss i’m omw back now ;)

 

>> TONY @STARK

Finally! Took you long enough. 

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

mr stark i left 15mins ago... we live in ny.... it takes time and eFfOrT to get food

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

Stop whining start running. I want my food.


	3. abbie is the best

ned @guyinthechair

@internofstark i wanna watch star wars

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

k bring sandwiches :)))

 

>> michelle @lesbijones

nerds.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

<333 wanna come too mj? we have strawberry laces ;)

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

fine. for the laces. i’ll be there in 10 minutes.

 

>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

yayyy <3333

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

whoop whoop see you then!!

—— 

red whale @toothman

how is @internofstark so adorable? and the two he was talking to?? that friendship? i want??

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

i’d be jealous too :))

 

>> michelle @lesbijones

we’re great. we know.

 

>>> ned @guyinthechair

peter is a soft boi and mj is hard momma bear

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

honestly i want to resent this but i can’t? it’s a fact? 

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeah but needs softerererrrrrr

 

i wanna be famous @itsallalie

this thread just forces all to agree with @toothman 

 

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

mr starks not letting me buy a small cat :( i though if not puppy then maybe kitty 

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

but mr starks a hard nut to crack :( 

 

>> TONY @STARK

Pete, Pepper and May are both allergic to fur. It would not go down well.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

what about a snek? i would boop that snoop like a flute 🌚

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

No kid. We cannot buy a snake. we would have to feed it little chickies or mice and I am Not doing that.

 

confooshone @evanfingerlicker

i am confused,,, i thought they didn’t ,,,live together..?

> yeeter peter @internofstark

my apartment doesn’t allow animals :( so i want tony to let me have one in the tower :)

 

>> confooshone @evanfingerlicker

ohhhhh makes sense ...? (ig)  
——

yeeter peter @internofstark

@STARK a frog

 

> TONY @STARK

No.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark 

a gecko

 

TONY @STARK

No.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

guinea pigs.

 

TONY @STARK

No.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

an axolotl

 

TONY @STARK

What the hell? No.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

a hedgehog?!! pleaseee they don’t make people allergic :)) i’ll be really good!! i’ll come round every night after school with a takeaway. they’re nocturnal too so you won’t have to worry :))))

 

> TONY @STARK

... Maybe. If Pepper says yes.

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

WAIT REALLY!?!?! omg omg omg yayyyyyy

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Only because a hedgehog seems fun. And FRIDAY says they’re relatively easy to take care of.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

i win i win i win woohooooo

 

>>>>> TONY @STARK

Kid it’s still only a conditional offer.

 

yeeter peter @internofstark

sorry mr stark sir :)

——

fairly odd child @mayaparley

hey did anyone else notice that stark’s intern said ‘after school’ like is that cOLlEge? or HiGH SchOoL?!?!

 

view more replies

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

um high school..? 

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Kid. I thought your age was gunna be kept on the down-low.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

sorry mr stark :)))))

 

tulip tulie @talulahhhhh

wait wait wait. so tony starks Personal Intern is younger than me?!?!? howwwww

 

view more replies

——

harley @potatogunner

@STARK wouldn’t buy me a hedgehog :(

 

TONY @STARK

Favouritism. It’s a thing.

 

> harley @potatogunner

OMG THE FIRST TIME IN AROUND A YEAR THAT HES CONTACTED ME AND HE INSULTS ME?!?! how rood

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

ahahahahahah @STARK i’ve never respected you more.

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Hey, Abbie. You also rank above your brother.

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

im so sad.... just,,,,kill me now??? what’s even the point anymore? i thought we were connected???

 

>>>>> TONY @STARK

Yeah yeah. Course we are.

 

>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

i’m gunna come up to new york and beat it into you. we. are. cOnNecTed!!

 

>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

All you had to do was ask. Come up whenever. I’ll send a jet.

 

harley @potato gunner

wait what. really????

 

> TONY @STARK

Yeah of course. Just text me.

——  
my carly @carlsycarl

wait who is @potatogunner ??? more importantly how does tony stark know him?? 

 

> tree hugger @vegancharlotte

@internofstark @guyinthechair @lesbijones got any answers for us??

 

>> michelle @lesbijones

no.

 

>>> ned @guyinthechair

no sorry :)) @internofstark ???

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

no?!?! @STARK ANSWER THE FANIELSS

 

>>>>> TONY @STARK

Okay firstly faniels? And secondly Harley’s an old friend. But a young one.

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

1 ya know like fan but sPeCial. and 2 whaaaa

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

heard you was talking bout me. whatchoo sayin bitches?

 

>>>>>>>> mooooooo @fortylemon

he seems... nice..?

 

view more replies

 

smollest keener @abbielongshot

i adore this. people can now see how chaotic h is.😂 this is what i’ve been sayin brotherrrr

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love abbie 
> 
> also i am posting so much i’m great today...
> 
>  
> 
> in reality my grandparents are up and we’re watchin this crappy documentary on camels 🤷♀️ i’m learnin a lot


	4. first contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this ones so short the camel documentary ended so i had to socialise :(

yeeter peter @internofstark

i got a hedgeyhogger :) his name is fox :)))))

 

> TONY @STARK

I don’t approve of the name. 

 

>> Boss Lady @PepperPotts

I think it’s a perfectly suitable name. I fully approve.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

SEE!!! PEPPER APPROVES THEREFORE I WIN.

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

@STARK i want a hedgehog :(((

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

we can share fox if you want? @potatogunner :)

 

>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

tony i prefer your son to you. and yes please :)))) @internofstark

 

>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

<3333 you’re so much better than tony too <333

 

TONY @STARK

What have i done? They have spoken not two sentences to each other and already prefer the other to me? This is abuse :(

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

we do try mr stark. me and @potatogunner are just too spesh for you 

 

>> harley @potatogunner

>:•)

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

ok maybe not. you put NOSES in your smiley faces?! we cAnT be frends no more.

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner 

:•(((( noooo but i wanted to be different pleaseeeeeee

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

hmmm i can maybe forgive you. perhaps. if you beg.

 

>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

p-p-please p-peter i’ll do-do anythingggg. anything for you!!

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

good. i forgive you.

——

michelle @lesbijones

love how peter’s acting like a top when we all know he ‘sleeps on the bottom bunk’. 

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

MJ THIS IS UNNECESSARY. AND UNTRUE. 

 

>> princess @shuri

pahahah 😂 peter don’t lie to yourself 

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

:(( this is an attack 

 

TONY @STARK

I don’t think i’ve ever been so uncomfortable. 

——

potatogunner -> internofstark

h: hey peter ((:

p: hey harley :))))

h: wanna mess with tony?

p: do i?   
p: yes.

h: excellent >;)

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dunno where i’m going with this fic im just makin it up as i go along so i have no clue how they’re gunna mess with tony \\_(*•*)_/


	5. fox the hedgehog

harley @potatogunner

me and @internofstark have chatted. we are now... well acquainted 😏

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

HARLEY ASDFJASD SHUSHHH

 

>> TONY @STARK

Um what.

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

old man i’m stealing your intern. he’s mine now

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

he’s blushing. thought you’d wanna know.

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

i did thank you.

 

TONY @STARK

Why are my children flirting? I am so confused. Since when were you two not straight?!?

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

gOd mr StArk straight shouldn’t be the normmmm gOooDd

 

>> harley @potatogunner

im disappointed tony, and i thought you were a good man

 

>>> TONY @STARK

I’m sorry! 

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

so you should be. i’m bi, bi the way mr stark

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

i’m gay boiiiiiii. as gay as two toed tinkletoe

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

well that’s a relief.

 

>>>>>>> TONY @STARK 

Do what you want kids. Just be happy.

 

>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

‘do *who we want’ you mean 😏

 

>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

🤦♂️

——

ellie bellie @eleanorparks

ok so. #irondad amirite??

 

> baby boy jay @jordancakey

you rite #irondad

>> charlie’s angels @charliemichaelson

#irondad

 

view more replies

——

harley @potatogunner

ha @STARK have you seen #irondad?

 

> TONY @STARK

Hey it’s pretty accurate. You and Pete are my kids. 

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

aw mr stark <33333

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

... <3

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

i think that was the most reluctant heart i’ve ever seen 😂😂

——

girl in black @GoTpleaseeee

hey @internofstark how’s fox? we ain’t heard much bout him yet?

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

he’s great!! hedgehogs need an adjustment period so we couldn’t interact with him much for a few days but he’s warming up to us!!

 

>> girl in black @GoTpleaseeee

where does he stay? in stark tower?

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeah he stays in the penthouse (a true diva) he’s v specific and spat out lots of spit balls onto furniture to mark his territory! it was really disgUStAng.

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

And who had to clean it up? 

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

hey it’s not my fault i had school 🤷♂️ i bet you anything dr strange was the one to clean it all up anyway - be it with his magic or not

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK 

Humph. That does not matter. 

 

>>>>>>> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

Tony get off this imbecilic website and come help me do the dishes. 

 

>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Yes, dear.

 

>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

thwippp,,, this boy whipped

——

smollest keener @abbielongshot

h is being stupid again. he is yet to realise he had a growth spurt, and is now 6ft, so pulled over a chair and stood up on it. 

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

it’s safe to say, that harley now has a throbbing bump on the top of his head.

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

he’s 6ft you say??? mmmmmmm

 

>>> michelle @lesbijones

peter none of us want to witness your height kink. go thirst someplace else.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

MJ

 

>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

is it a lie? am i lying?!?

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

:(


	6. the barton’s

harley @potatogunner

abbie is a bitch.

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

this is uncalled for.

 

>> harley @potatogunner

you did the bad. you did the very bad.

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

i didn’t KNoW?!? thAt tHeY WerE yoURs?!?! 

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

yes you did. they were labelled. they had ‘Harley’ across the bottom. or can you not read anymore?! :(

 

>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

harley. you are almost 18. you should not be this worked up about some stupid figurines. mom wanted stuff to give to charity so 🤷♀️

 

>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

but NOT THOSEEEE. they were specialll they were original 70s star wars figurines!!! i worked hard to pay for them :((((

 

>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

well toughen up big boy,,, they long gone nowww

 

>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner 

you’re the worst sister ever.

 

>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

:)

——

private chat internofstark -> lesbijones, guyinthechair

p: he likes star wars :)))))

m: that’s gay.

n: mj you’re gay

m: well you’re straight you dumb fuck

p: excuse me this is the time for my extremely bi crisis,,, not being heterophobic mj there’s a time and a place. (school tomorrow (: we love you ned)

n: sorry peter continue.

p: thanka  
p: he’s a tol boi. he’s funny. he likes StAR wARs?!?!   
p:i think he’s perfect.

m: you’ve known about him for like three days. and that’s all you know about him.

p: so? this is unimportant.

n: when true love’s light first hits..!

p: thanks ned i know i can always count on you

n: ofc petey xoxo

p: xoxo gossip girllllllll

m: i’m just- mmkay whatever. he’s perfect sure. 

p: thanks mj <3

m: may wants you to go to bed. 

p: you what...?   
p: how do you know that???

n: she’s mj?

m: i’m me?

p: you guys text each other don’t you?!?! 

m: no we ft

n: paahahahahhahah

p: are you the person she’s been facetiming every night?!?! 

m: no we have specific nights. tuesday wednesday friday and sunday. 

p: okay 1 that’s weird 2 then who is she talkin to on the other night? 

n: maybe it’s a new bf/gf?

m: hmm i think she would’ve told me? i don’t know.

p: mJ yOu dOnT knOw SmTh?!?!  
p:and wouldn’t i know first  
p: i mean she’s my aunt

m: no. i would.  
m: you’re so oblivious you wouldn’t realise if your other best friend worked out that you’re spider-man.

p: i mean yeah i’d know if you had worked that out.  
p:WAIT HOLD ON

m: and case closed.  
m: bedtime peter

p: but i- what!?

n: night spidey xx

lesbijones, and guyinthechair have gone offline.

p: i’m so confused

internofstark has gone offline

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

fox spat on my socks :(

 

> TONY @STARK

you have other pairs of socks.

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeah but those were my candy cane socks.

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Peter it’s the middle of May. Why do you need your ‘candy cane’ socks.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

it’s for the aesthetic mr starkkkk

 

>>>>> TONY @STARK

Who is even gunna be lookin at your socks?!

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

nooo it’s for clothes swap with mj and ned today :((((

 

>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

What does that consist of? Your clothes swap?

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

i’m fairly certain it’s quite obvious? me mj and ned swap clothes? we do it once a month? it’s where my stephen universe jackets from? 

 

>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Oh. I thought you got that from a thrift shop? Is it also where you got your boots from? The flowery Docs?

 

>>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeah ofc. they didn’t fit mj anymore so she gave em to me. now i need to give her some socks and ned my dnd cap :(

 

>>>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Right sounds... fun?

 

>>>>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yes. it’s v comfy.

 

> maya friggs @notapsychologist

Is anyone else so incredibly jealous of these three teenagers’ friendship?!?

 

>> freyja @greekbabyyyy

yes yes we all are. 

 

>>> black widow is sexy @bwsuperstan

yes

 

view more replies 

 

——

harley @potatogunner

the earlier arguments are,,, not forgotten? and will be used in future bickering as leverage,,,, but i managed to find my figurines. so.

 

> lila lily @bestbartonbaby

Well done. And I too like to keep all past discrepancies on the back burner to fight with my siblings. 

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

no don’t encourage him @bestbartonbaby

 

>>> lila lily @bestbartonbaby

sorryyyy but it’s true. everything @cooperbooper has ever done wrong/badly, i’ve kept in a folder for later usage.

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

mm you’re rather smart. i already have enough blackmail to create one.

 

>>>> cooper ploop @cooperbooper

@bestbartonbaby mom said you weren’t allowed a twitter?!? can i put this in my folder 😏 ‘all the things lila’s done wrong’

 

>>>>> lila lily @bestbartonbaby

fuck you brother dearest. i so prefer nate. 

 

>>>>>> cooper ploop @cooperbooper

nate’s three. 

 

>>>>>>> lila lily @bestbartonbaby

exactly 🖕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got the inspiration for the clothes swap from one of my fave fics, ‘find warmth in the middle of the night’ by aloneintherain. i highly recommend you read it :))


	7. flirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. not a great one this. but ya know 🤷♀️

yeeter peter @internofstark

i can’t reach the cookies :(. pepper and stephen are evil people who don’t respect the short :(

 

> harley @potatogunner

darlin i could come up and help you out with reaching hard-to-get places 😏

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

that doesn’t even work as a lewd comment

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

doesn’t it?

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

Harley!!! No!!

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner 

tony i’m just sayin. a baby boy needs help sometimes

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK

OMG OMG no!!! All the no!!! He’s sweet and innocent! Protect him!!!

 

>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

oh! mr stark i actually think i’d like to have harley help me. if he could pick me up to do so. that’d be very nice.? ;)

 

>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones 

and earlier he was trying to dispute being a bottom. 

 

>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

OMG OMG NOOO

 

>>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

ahahahaha corruption 😈

——

TONY @STARK 

Peter climbed onto the counter to get the cookies. Unfortunately he was distracted by our earlier twitter conversation and fell off the counter.

 

> ned @guyinthechair

omg is he ok? peter?!? @internofstark ???

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

mr starkkkk you didn’t need to tell anyone, let alone all of twitter :(( i only fell on my bum. don’t worry neddy boy :)

 

>>> ned @guyinthechair

good good :) <3

——

smollest keener @abbielongshot 

hey @STARK mom wants you to take harley for a little while - he’s getting on her nerves ;)

 

> harley @potatogunner

oi oi! bit rood

 

>> TONY @STARK

Yeah of course. You wanna come too? 

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

um is that even a question? yes???

 

>>>> TONY @STARK 

Cool. I’ll send a jet out tomorrow. It is break for you two as well right? 

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner 

no tony our mother just wants us to skip a whole week of school just because she wants some quiet.

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Alright alright. Was just checking. Ok see you both tomorrow. 

——

Private Message internofstark -> potatogunner

p: sooooo

h: soooooooo

p: you’re coming to new york. 

h: yes.  
h: you live in new york.

p: yes.  
p: how much dyou bet mr stark will make us meet the minute you land? :))

h: nah i bet he’ll wanna keep me away from you

p: you what?

h: imma be a bad influence on you, princess 😏  
h: tony wants to save your virtue.

p: nnggg nooo harleyyyy  
p: mr stark  
p: nooooo

h: yes doll. just you wait.  
h: can i expect you there at the airport with tony tomorrow? orrr???

——

Private Messaging internofstark -> lesbijones, guyinthechair

p: hes flirtinggggg

n: what’s he sayin?

p: screenshot.png

m: ahah your reaction to him callin you princess.  
m: ahah 

p: mj that is NOT helping rn.

n: ship ship SHIP!!  
n: you guys cute.

p: no ned you’re supposed to help me :(((((

n: sorryyyy :)))))

m: go chat up your boy then come back and fangirl looks like he wants a response.  
m: princess.

p: MJ!! STOP

—— 

Private Messaging internofstark -> potatogunner

h: peter?  
h: sorry am i bein too full on?  
h: peter? i can stop if you want me to?

p: sorry no you’re fine!!!  
p: dw!!

h: mmkay...  
h: just tell me if i am.  
h: consent is sexy 

p: harley!!  
p: and no you’re all cool  
p: ik how to say no. mr stark and my aunt sat me down for a whole hour about saying no 🙄  
p: apparently they’re worried i’d be too nice to say no? 

h: well that’s good :)

p: and i would like to meet you at the airport if you want to meet me?  
p: don’t feel like you have to say yes

h: yeah i’d love it :)  
h: you’d better ask tony though. or pepper.

p: will do :) see you tomorrow harleyyyy :) <3

h: see ya 

——

Private Messaging potatogunner -> abbielongshot 

a: i can hear you squealing from here.  
a: is it about tomorrow?

h: kindaaaaaa

a: what

h: peter is gunna meet us at the airport :)) 

a: peter’s the boy you’ve known for about a week right?  
a: on twitter?  
a: and have a major crush on already?  
a: despite not knowing what he looks like.  
a: or even how old he is.

h: yeah that’s him.  
h: don’t tell mom any of that.

a: that’ll be 10$

h: aBbiE?!?

a: 10$. take it or leave it  
a: or i’ll tell mom. 

h: you are a witch.  
h: fine.  
h: come to my room. 

a: whoop whoop!!

——

TONY @STARK

I think I made a mistake. 

 

> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

You think, dear? You think?

 

>> TONY @STARK

Fine. I know so. I forgot what the chaos that is Harley Keener is like. I was just brutally reminded when I facetimed him.

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

you promised!!! can’t take it back now ahahhahah 

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

this is going to be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i have only recently found out that i am unable to do slow burn? and i spontaneously brought harley and abbie to new york a hell of a lot faster than i was first planning on. so. peter and harley may get together faster than i thought. :)


	8. the flight

harley @potatogunner 

about to get on the plane. it’s v fancy. and posh. and upper class. 

 

> TONY @STARK

Get used to it kid. That’s what you’ll be living like for a week.

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

mr starks flexinnnn

 

>>> toilet cleaner @emmajohnsonnnn

does he even need to though? he’s tony stark??

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

a good point. yet he still does.

 

>>>>> WarMachine @ColonelRhodes

Tony enjoys showing off. Always has. He’s a needy bitch.

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK

HONEYBEAR!! I didn’t know you were on twitter?!?! 

 

>>>>>>> WarMachine @ColonelRhodes

Spiderman made me get it. He bugged me all morning. I agreed just to shut him up before I squished him against the wall.

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

now that’s just rude mr colonel rhodes. spider-man is an upstanding member of our community. (and its spider-man with a HYPHEN)

 

>>>>>>>>> Farrah @NickelNickel

do i sense a fanboy over here... we see you @internofstark 😑😂

 

>>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

hey now. i’m allowed. it’s not like i can help that he’s the coolest avenger 🤷♂️

 

>>>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Not an avenger. He turned down the offer. And kid. I’m offended. 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

oh right yeah but mr stark you’re like so high on my list you’re like a god now not an avenger and then it’s mr dr strange who’s also above the list. then thor because. ya know THOR. and then spider-man. who’s top of the list. after you dr strange and thor.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Kid, just so you know, that didn’t make much sense.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> julie @asdfgjkl

i got it

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> THOR @THORTHORTHOR

I TOO UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE YOUNG STARKSON WAS SAYING. 

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

OMG OMG OMG THORRRRR

 

view more replies 

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

ya know @potatogunner you should feel very special rn.

 

> harley @potatogunner

i always do *hair flick* but why specifically today?

 

>> yeeter peter @internfstark

nice harls 🙄😂 and bc i turned down meeting thor and loki and MR DR BRUCE BANNER to come pick you up from the airport. so feel spesh

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

omg why would you do that?!?!! bruce banner?!?!! nahhh princesssss shoulda stayed and met with himmmm.... ugh his brainnn

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

ugh ikr. but.. i wanted to meet you more 🤓

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

aw petey baby 🥰🥰🥰 

 

>>>>>> trespassing tree @michaelfrogger

i’m so confused - these two haven’t even properly met yet? though they have a better relationship than any of mine in the past?!?!

 

>>>>>>> girlonfireeee @flameykira

ikr i just. UGH SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP

 

>>>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair 

awwww you guys are so cuteeee

 

>>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

everyone else does find it weird how lovey covey they already are without meeting each other though right?!?!?? like yeah ik it’s v sweet and i entirely approve loser <3 but still

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

we brought fox with us to meet harley 

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark 

apparently mr stark was unaware of this fact and is now not. happy.

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

it’s ok me and fox puppy eyed him until he forgave us. i mean fox has to meet his co-owner right? 

——

harley @potatogunner

1hr30mins left of the flight

——

harley @potatogunner

1hr to go

——

harley @potatogunner 

30mins

—— 

harley @potatogunner

landing in 3 , 2 , 1

> harley @potatogunner 

landed.

 

>> harley @potatogunner

i’ll see you soon, mechanic :)

 

>>> TONY @STARK

See ya kid :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so a little struggle for me here:
> 
> do i write out their meeting as not in twitter format like normal format, and then go back to twitter? or have abbie live tweet their meeting? i just dunno 🤷♀️


	9. the meeting (dw not the end)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i might rewrite this tomorrow cause i’m not the happiest with it :( but please tell me what you think :) it was hard to write them in character and blushy and turned on? so it’s not my best gotta say - sorry all <3

Peter bounced on the balls of his heels, nervous energy flowing through him. The car journey had been nerve-racking enough, and now, on the runway, just outside an official Avengers hangar, he felt like throwing up. Mr. Stark kept looking over at him, highly amused, but Peter was too jittery to do anything but smile tightly back.

Mr. Stark laughed, “Pete, calm down!” The sound calmed Peter slightly, untangling his hands from the knots they were previously in.

“But what if he doesn’t actually like me, Mr. Stark?! What if i’m a massive disappointment to him?!” Peter looked up at his mentor with wide eyes, “I’m all nervous in real life! At least on twitter I can be filtered!” 

The man snorted, “Kid, you do realise that Harley is gunna be just as nervous as you right?” His grin widened, “Earlier, on the phone, he was all worried about what you’re gunna think of him. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard Harley believe himself to be anything less than God before.”

Peter’s brows furrowed, hands twisting into sweater paws. 

The billionaire shook his head and put an arm around his kid. The boy leaned into him.

——

smollest keener @abbielongshot

aha i don’t think i’ve ever seen my brother this nervous. he’s a wreck 😂

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

he’s sat in the corner of the plane listening to his anxiety playlist. believe it or not, i think currently he’s listening to the mama mia tunes. i can’t blame him tbh. 

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

we’ve landed!! harley is yet to look up. 

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

oh he’s managed to break his headphones with all his twiddling

 

>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

ok i can see two figures but they’re pretty far away :( i think we have to walk over to them

 

>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

oh wait no we’re getting a lift 😂 perks of having a billionaire in your life right?

smollest keener @abbielongshot

gtg socialise with old man stark and my brothers boy toy. i’ll live tweet (but not live cause it’ll be afterwards but shhhhh) later :)

——

“Mechanic!” 

A tall boy, with messy, blond hair, and bright blue eyes rushed towards them and hugged Tony tightly; he had the jawline of a saint and Peter wanted to _bite _it. His shoulders were probably double the size of Peter’s and his jeans did nothing to hide the shape of his thighs. Not that Peter was complaining.__

__Tony reached over to close his mouth, and pretended to wipe away a bit of drool, and the girl next to Harley was laughing, presumably at Peter’s face. Peter went firetruck red. His whole face burned, he ducked his head, and hid in his hands._ _

__Harley cocked his head, “Hey, Princess. Why you hidin’ your pretty face away?” Harley’s honey smooth voice rolled over the smaller boy, who hesitantly peeked up through his lashes at the smiling boy._ _

__Harley couldn’t help but stare at Peter. He was fuckin’ gorgeous. He had some of the biggest, softest eyes Harley’d ever seen, and his blush was so damn cute; Harley just wanted to know how far down the flush reached._ _

__Harley watched as the boy’s head slowly tilted back up to look at him. He had to strain his head to look into Harley’s eyes, having unconsciously taken a few steps closer._ _

__A hungry smirk overtook Harley’s expression as he watched the other boy’s lips part and suck in a greedy breath._ _

__A sudden, sharp pain in his foot had him crying out._ _

__He turned on the spot to glare at his sister. Abbie was watching him and Peter, eyebrows drawn together, as if she didn’t know whether to be disgusted, or to start cooing._ _

__Tony just laughed, “I’m kinda horrified that i just had to watch my kids eye-fuck each other,” Peter went red again and started spluttering hopelessly, “but i’m also happy that you two get along so well?” He winked, “Now let me say hello to my favourite Keener!”_ _

__Abbie grinned and opened her arms wide for a hug. The man gathered her close and stroked back her hair. “It’s good to see you two again.”_ _

__Abbie smiled against his shoulder, and agreed, hugging him tightly. Harley, however, was already distracted. When they looked over, hey had to be witness to Harley taking up Peter’s hand and pulling him close, whispering, what was most likely, sweet nothings into his ear; Peter had his face shoved into Harley’s shoulder._ _

__“They are weirdly intimate for meeting for the first time ever,” Abbie stage whispered to Tony, “That’s not normal is it?”_ _

__Tony snorted and shook his head, reaching out and yanking Harley away by the back of his collar, “Stop defiling my sweet, innocent protégé, and let’s go.”_ _

__——_ _

__smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__oookayyyy... so- i don’t think i can ever meet harley’s eye again after witnessing that._ _

__

__> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__what were they up to?_ _

__

__> > smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__darlin. i don’t think you wanna know._ _

__

__> >> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__sweetheart. i wanna know._ _

__

__> >>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__1/? - ok fine. so to start, in the plane, harley was a nervous mess. ok like breaking things, fumbling, he managed to snap his watch strap in two with all his fiddling, etcetera etcetera. but then when we got onto the runway? he was fine?_ _

__> >>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__2/? - he was charming (ish) and he was calm and hugged tony easy peasy puddin an pie. and then he saw peter who was a Blushy Mess - like honest to god this boy was the colour of a tomato - and he was all  
‘hey princess’ and stuff_ _

__

__> >>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__3/? - and then i was like greeting tony like gave him a hug and all that and then we lOOKED oVEr?!?! and these two boys are flirting up a storm and bein all romantic and disgustingly close for a first ever meeting and it was so unreal_ _

__

__> >>>>>> smollest keener @abbielonshot_ _

__4/? - like wth me and tony were less than a metre away and i swear these two were this 👌 close to fuckin right there... which is a disgusting image omg whyyyy_ _

__

__> >>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__5/5 - and i’m fairly certain the car journey to the tower is now worse. i stg peter is almost in harley’s lap and i am so done with these disgustingly cute boys and showing me how unfanfiction-y my love life is :(_ _

__

__smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__ok done now. you happy now @lesbijones??? you happy?? you made me relive my brother ‘eyefucking’ (as tony put it) right in front of me :((( meanie. now what do you say?_ _

__

__> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__thank you abbie for your services. we shall be using them again._ _

__

__> > ned @guyinthechair_ _

__dude you’re making her sound like a posh prostitute._ _

__

__> >> michelle @lesbijones _ _

__whoops._ _

__——_ _

__yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__yes. it’s a solid yes from me_ _

__——_ _

__harley @potatogunner_ _

__mm he’s nice and... compact. 😏_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what i can do to improve it cause yes. :)


	10. nerds.

yeeter peter @internofstark

i’m pretty sure fox prefers abbie to me and/or harley :( 

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

it’s what i deserve 🤷♀️

 

>> michelle @lesbijones

i don’t blame him. fox just needs some lady luvinnn

 

>>> ned @guyinthechair

fox is a hedgehog mj

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

all the more reason for it.

—— 

harley @potatogunner

he even smells nice?? 

 

> fry up snacc @fricketyfrack

boy that’s right creepy that is 

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

it is a little creepy harls 😂

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

but it’s true though? you smell like apples? but a nice apple? 

 

>>>> lila lily @bestbartonbaby

dude if i were you i’d stop now? 😂😂

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner 

right yeah good plan.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

i had a great day :) we just stayed with mr stark all day and watched movies. ooh we also played monopoly which took probably around 5hrs

 

> luce @toodlepoppp

omg who won?! that sounds dangerous?? (at least it is in my family)

 

>> harley @potatogunner

peter. he got all the orange pink and reds. he put hotels on all the orange and pinks. then had at least two houses on each red. he also had all the train stations and the water works :( 

 

>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

we had no chance.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

sorryyyy 😊😊😊

 

>>>>> TONY @STARK

Kid you’re fooling no one with your false sympathy. And go to bed all of you? It’s 12am??

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

:)) night mr stark loves youuuu

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

night tony. :)

 

>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

good night all <3

——

ned @guyinthechair

duuude @internofstark guess what i gotttt!!!!

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

you didn’t?!?!? i thought you were getting it for xmas???

 

>> ned @guyinthechair

yeah i was but then my mom said she pay a bit towards it!?!!! and i had bday money left over?!?!!!

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

i’m coming over right now 😊😊 @lesbijones meet at neds <3

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones 

i don’t even know what you two are fangirling about but sure i’ll be there soon.

 

>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

mjjjj we told you about ittt- the new lego millennium falcon??!? it’s got 7541 pieces!!!

 

>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

nerds. i’ll bring movies.

 

>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

and snacks!!! 

——

Private Messaging lesbijones -> internofstark, guyinthechair

m: hey loser invite harley and his sister. 

p: really?!?

n: yes!! it’d be good to have some more friends!!

p: okkk

m: i need to scout harley out, see if this boy is good enough for our dumb white boy  
m: i also wanna meet this sister of his

p: finnee   
p: but don’t be too intimidating :)

n: pete mj just is intimidating. she can’t just turn it off

m: it’s a trait i’m proud of.

p: we know

n: we know

——

Private Messaging internofstark -> potatogunner, abbielongshot

p: hello keeners! wanna come play with lego’s and watch movies with me ned and mj?  
p: you don’t have to  
p: but i’d like you both to  
p: but like don’t feel you have to

a: peter. i’d like to come.

h: yeah bambi i’m definitely up for spending more time with you 👍

a: text h the address and we’ll be there.

abbielongshot has gone offline 

h: see you soon doll ;)

p: bye harls :) x

——

Private Messaging internofstark -> lesbijones, guyinthechair

p: they’re both coming. 

n: cooool :)))

m: good. should be fun.

p: wow mj sound less enthusiastic 😂

m: i am enthusiastic. this is my excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so another question for you guys :)) : 
> 
> should i write this in fully twitter format? or have it like the last chapter where i mix twitter in with real life?
> 
> alsooo imma have this be a series so i can put little oneshots (including a smutty one for you dirty little scoundrels ;) ) so dw it’s not gunna be over anytime soon :)
> 
> though saying that, i’m back to school tomorrow so i won’t be as actively posting from tomorrow? but i have half an hour bus journeys to write in so i should be able to keep it up xx 
> 
> thanks for reading kiddos :) <3


	11. movie time is slightly smexy time

Harley knocked on the door to the apartment, waiting until it swung open. Peter stood before him, a smile playing around his lips. 

Peter’s sweater was massive, falling just passed his bum, and he wore a pair of tight, tight, _tight _yoga pants - evidently a swapsie of MJ - and Harley could not look away from the sweetness that was Peter Parker.__

__Said sweetness looked up, curls falling into his eyes. Harley grinned at Peter, “Hey, Bambi,” he winked, “Fancy seeing you here.”_ _

__Abbie pushes passed him, ponytail whipping his arm. He could sense that she was rolling her eyes at him. He, maturely, stuck out his tongue at her back as she hugged a giggling Peter._ _

__Abbie let go, and walked off to find MJ and Ned, following half-hearted instructions on how to get there from Peter._ _

__Peter stared at the other boy, whiskey eyes flicking over Harley’s features unsurely._ _

__He wetted his lips. “H-hey Harls!” Peter took a step closer and put his hands hesitantly on the taller boy’s shoulders, using them as a vice to roll up onto his tippy-toes to press a gentle kiss to Harley’s cheek. Harley flushed a bright red, blue eyes snapping to Peter’s, similarly red, face._ _

__“Hey! Assholes!” Peter and Harley flew apart, twisting around to see MJ’s head stuck out into the hallway, “C’mon, losers. We wanna start the movie.” She ducked back into the room._ _

__The taller boy laughed and grabbed Peter’s hand to pull him along behind him, the embarrassed boy keeping tight behind him, face hidden in his back._ _

__——_ _

__michelle @lesbijones_ _

__they’re disgusting. absolutely disgusting_ _

__

__> ned @guyinhthechair_ _

__aw no they’re cuuute <3_ _

__

__> > smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__i agree with mj. i’ve never seen my brother blush ever before he met peter._ _

__

__> >> ned @guyinthechair _ _

__can’t say the same for peter. i think our boy is just perpetually red_ _

__

__> >>> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__but he’s just even redder around harley_ _

__

__harley @potatogunner_ _

__i hate you all. @abbielongshot i was hardly blushing at all!!_ _

__

__> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__ahah lies h. every time peter so much as blinked at you you went bright red_ _

__

__> > harley @potatogunner_ _

__lies and slander._ _

__

__> >> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__:((_ _

__

__> >>> harley @potatogunner_ _

__:((((_ _

__

__> >>>> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__oh cry me a river you babies_ _

__

__> >>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__wimps._ _

__——_ _

__yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__@STARK i hope you’re looking after fox well? you haven’t just left him on the sofa in the workshop while you work right? he’ll be waking up soon..._ _

__

__> TONY @STARK_ _

__Would I do such a thing?!?_ _

__

__> > yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__yes._ _

__

__> >> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange_ _

__Tony, I can’t find your son’s infernal hedgehog. Is it in the workshop with you?_ _

__

__> >>> TONY @STARK_ _

__Um yes. And he’s not my son. He’s my intern._ _

__

__> >>>> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange_ _

__Oh, don’t pretend you don’t see him as your son. And, hm, Tony. I thought you told Peter he wasn’t with you?_ _

__

__> >>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__mr stark..,,.you see me as a son ?!?!😱😭😭 me toooo <333_ _

__

__> >>>>>> TONY @STARK_ _

__You see me as your son?_ _

__

__> >>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__mr starrrrkkkk don’t teaseeee,,, i see you as my dadddd_ _

__

__> >>>>>>>> TONY @STARK_ _

__Peter <3_ _

__

__> >>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK_ _

__Fine. I left fox on the sofa. And then worked for a while._ _

__

__> >>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__fucking knew it._ _

__——_ _

__harley @potatogunner_ _

__you know i was not expecting peter to be that sassy,,, but i am pleasantly surprised? he just sassed back to a sandwich man in fluent spanish? i am,,, yes._ _

__

__> yeeter peter @internofstark _ _

__🥰🥰_ _

__

__> > smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__wait you can speak spanish?_ _

__

__> >> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__rt ???_ _

__

__> >>> ned @guyinthechair_ _

__rt whaa_ _

__

__> >>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__@guyinthechair you been knew this??? i can speak 4 languages? including english?_ _

__

__> >>>>> michelle @lesbijones_ _

__wait whaaaaa?? what languages?_ _

__

__> >>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__i mean i thought you would defo know mj?? i speak english (duh) spanish italian and russian?_ _

__

__> >>>>>>> harley @potatogunner_ _

__why’d you learn them?_ _

__

__> >>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__well i learnt italian mostly from my aunt when i was younger but then tony picked it back up with me. then spanish cause it was ridiculously similar to spanish and school. then russian cause i thought the alphabet was cool._ _

__

__> >>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _

__you learnt a whole language bc you thought the alphabet was cool????_ _

__

__> >>>>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK_ _

__The kid’s ridiculously good at languages. He can just pick em up easy peasy._ _

__

__> >>>>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner_ _

__hmm,, well that’s a nice thought. one to be mulled on later 😊_ _

__——_ _

__Peter’s head popped up from where it was resting against the arm of the sofa, and his large, doe eyes caught on Harley’s, who grinned wickedly back. A small smirk began to appear on Peter’s mouth._ _

__He got up, and crawled over to the other end of the sofa, where Harley lay, flopping, somehow elegantly, down onto Harley’s chest. The boy leant in, resting his chin on Harley’s shoulder as he whispered, “Voglio che tu mi sbatta contro il muro e che mi aiuti come hai promesso.”_ _

__Harley let out a soft groan into Peter’s soft hair, “I have no clue what you just said but _yes _. God yes.”___ _

____Peter giggled and wrapped himself tighter around Harley._ _ _ _

____——_ _ _ _

____smollest keener @abbielongshot_ _ _ _

____like i said disgusting_ _ _ _

____[img.peter/harley.sofa]_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly sexy meanings ahead (if it offends i’m sorry): 
> 
> Voglio che tu mi tieni contro il muro e aiutami come hai promesso - I want you to hold me up against the wall and help me out like you promised. 
> 
> if this is wrong please attack me. i’d appreciate it :)


	12. boyfriends

Private Messaging potatogunner -> internofstark 

h: wait peter what was it you said to me  
h: in the other language

p: oh  
p: um nothinggg

h: cmonnn i won’t teasee

p: no

h: please bambi   
h: princess? cmonnn

p: your pet names can’t sway me today you bastard

h: baby boy? i’m just curious??  
h: open my curiosity door for me?

p: ok i know that was a stranger things quote but you managed to make it sound vaguely dirty 😂  
p: and noooo

h: only to your dirty mind petey  
h: and cmon pretty boy  
h: i’ll binge star wars with you??  
h: ill pay for one of your disgusting boba things!!

p: 1 they aren’t disgusting  
p: 2 if we watch it in my and beds special order for the star wars binge  
p: IF

h: YEAH WHATEVER YOU WANT DOLL   
h: i really didn’t think that would work 

p: i said  
p: voglio che tu mi blocchi contro il muro e mi aiutami come hai promesso

h: uhuh uhuh and what does that mean

p: NO IM NOT SAYIN IT  
p: YOURE GUNNA USE GOOGLE TRANSLATE  
p: I CANT SAY IT

h: fine.   
h: two secs

p: ok 😰

h: omg  
h: i need a moment.

p: was it too much?!!?   
p: did i come on a bit hard??

p: harley??

h: stop worryin  
h: darlin you made _me _a bit hard but you didn’t come on too hard 😏__

__p: OMG HARLEY STOOOP_ _

__h: dollface you’re the one that said it_ _

__p: but i just :(_ _

__h: you’re adorable sweetheart_ _

__p: noohuuuu  
p:stahhppp _ _

__h: cmon bambi  
h: is that what you really want? _ _

__p: no._ _

__h: 😏_ _

__——  
yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__@STARK i’ve stolen your jumper and you shan’t be getting it back._ _

__

__> TONY @STARK_ _

__So that’s where it went?!? Kid you could’ve just asked?_ _

__

__> > yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__... not as much fun though old man!_ _

__

__> >> TONY @STARK_ _

__Ah, Harley’s rubbing off on you! He calls me that!!_ _

__

__> >>> harley @potatogunner_ _

__haven’t reached that stage old man. yet._ _

__

__> >>>> TONY @STARK_ _

__LA LA LA LAAAAAA I CANT HEAR YOU_ _

__——_ _

__Private Messaging internofstark - > lesbijones, guyinthechair _ _

__p: small dilemma_ _

__m: what_ _

__p: idk if me and harley are dating or not?!?  
p: we joke around and cuddle and flirt i think  
p: but most nights i’ve had to leave pretty early to patrol before it’s too late so i dunnooooo_ _

__n: why would leaving early mean you don’t know if you’re dating  
n: and you THiNk that you flirt!?!!   
n: boy you two are constantly flirting_ _

__p: shhhh  
p: and because in movies things always happen at the end of dates but i always leave before it’s the end_ _

__m: that makes no sense  
m: movies aren’t real life nerd  
m: and we don’t know why don’t you ask harley   
m: personally i’d say you two are serious dating after knowing of each other for like two weeks (which i still find WeiRd btw)_ _

__n: yeah i’d say you’re dating but just ask him pete_ _

__p: but what if it’s not? and he is like ewww_ _

__m: that boy wants you peter  
m: he won’t be ‘ewww’_ _

__n: ditto_ _

__p: i don’t like this  
p: but imma do it  
p: i’m spider-man. i can do anything!  
p: right???_ _

__n: yes! you got this spider-man!!_ _

__——_ _

__yeeter peter @internofstark_ _

__i am about to be mortally embarrassed so. twitter. it’s been good it’s been real but it ain’t been real good._ _

__——_ _

__Private Messaging internofstark - > potatogunner _ _

__p: hey harley._ _

__h: hey..?_ _

__p: what are we?  
p: to each other i mean  
p: like ik that we’re humans and all that  
p: but what arreee we?_ _

__h: darlin we can be anythin you want us to 😏_ _

__p: harls no be serious for two seconds_ _

__h: ok but i am  
h: i’d like to be boyfriends.   
h: but if you don’t want to.. well i’ll be disappointed   
h: but you can choose what, darlin that’s what i’m sayin_ _

__p: oh.  
p: id like that please :)_ _

__h: what?? you’d like to choose???_ _

__p: no you eejit. to be boyfriends :)_ _

__h: OH! yes. yes me too :)  
h: boyfriend_ _

__p: boyfriend_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, not a massive fan of this one but hey 🤷♀️


	13. short.

yeeter peter @internofstark

@STARK managed to set himself on fire 😂😂

 

> matttieeee @matthiasleecher

you fuckin what mate

 

> julie @ohcarolinaaaaaa

um why are you laughing bout it??? surely that’s a bad thing?!?!

 

> ned @guyinthechair

dude what the fuck?

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

ok so maybe i made it sound worse than it actually was? he wasn’t hurt? he gave the blowtorch to dum-e so really it’s his fault that his jumper caught fire

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Kid was it necessary to put this out there.

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

yes. i also got a video of it from fri. so if you ever do anything mr stark 😑 i got my eye on you. 

 

——

ned @guyinthechair

@lesbijones how much would you bet that peter hasn’t done his english assessment yet 😂

 

> michelle @lesbijones

it ain’t even worth betting on. bet on when he’ll end up doing it instead. boy will not do it till 3am the morning it’s due in. 10$. 

 

>> ned @guyinthechair

bitch please. 15$ he’ll do it half on the tube before school then the rest in class somehow finishing right before miss collects it

 

>>> michelle @lesbijones

hmm you got good stakes there boy. k money exchange first break after the lesson.

 

>>>> ned @guyinthechair

good plan.

——

smollest keener @abbielongshot

@STARK harley’s refusing to do his holiday hwk because ‘his phone has more of a future than he does’ apparently.

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

oh he has elaborated. the phone apparently ‘must be thrown out in two years at the most’ and ‘thats longer than his allowance will allow.’ 

 

>> TONY @STARK

It hasn’t quite sunk in that I’m a billionaire yet has it? He knows that both of you have trust funds right?

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

oMg iT WaS fOr A jOoOke

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

the coin flips

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

wait hold on..

 

>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

and the the coin falls.

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

@STARK ????!!?!??!?!!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> v short but i wrote it on the bus so \\_(*•*)_/ this is about the standard you’re gunna get now :) sucks to be youuu (and me cause school)
> 
>  
> 
> also what’s the tube called in america? is it the metro? the trainline? help a poor brit out would ya? :)


	14. mind. blown.

harley @potatogunner

just worked out that you can’t stand backwards on stairs. wild.

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

whoa. mind. broken.

 

>> michelle @lesbijones

wow. sometimes i wonder why i even spend time with you.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

because you looooove us? <333

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

no that can’t be it.

 

>>>>> ned @guyinthecahir

:((( because we love you?

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

because we’re worth it

 

>>>>>>> flash ah aaaa @fastmanflash

are you

 

>>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

yes :(

 

>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

perhaps.

——

TONY @STARK

Ok. That’s- I come home to find Harley on the ceiling and Spider-Man hanging from the staircase covered in whippy cream. I’m concerned and confused.

 

> harley @potatogunner

yes. spidey was teaching me the ways of the arachnids

 

>> TONY @STARK

Right. Ok. How about you go off to bed Harley and I’ll get Spidey swingin on home.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

ahahah that’ll never happen!! you can’t move spider-man!! 😈

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

Yes, I can. He has the proportionate weight of a spider. He’s incredibly light. 

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

what do you just gunna yeet him out a window and just hope he can catch himself? cause that’s just bad parenting 

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Bed, Keener. Now.

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

yeah yeah whatever old man

——

Private Messaging internofstark -> potatogunner 

p: thanks for today

h: you too baby boy 

p: bet you’d a never guessed i was spider-man otherwise

h: baby i saw spider-man and within two seconds i could tell it was you

p: WhAt?  
p: howwww

h: pete your voice is very squeaky and easy to place when you’re nervous.

p: ayyyy noooo  
p: i’m manly  
p: grrr

h: i bet that would sound like a kitten if you growled

p: would not  
p: would sound like a wolf  
p: or a lion

h: speaking of animals how’s our baby fox since you snuck him home?  
h: mourning my leaving?

p: he’s all good  
p: though today was the one day that the landlord came round to check the apartments and shit   
p: so i had to stuff fox down my shirt for a little while.

h: bet that was comfortable for everyone involved

p: no. no it wasnt  
p: have you ever had a hedgehog stuffed down your shirt? even a domesticated one?  
p: no?  
p: my chest is all scratched up now :(

h: aw poor baby  
h: did you get a dora the explorer bandaid?

p: no :(   
p: i got a sesame street one :(  
p: which is bad because sesame street is scary :((

h: you literally fight crime only wearing spandex on a day to day basis   
h: how do you find sEsAme STreEt scary?!?!

p: it’s the mouthhhss   
p: they open too wide  
p:like the the muppets :(

h: the muppets?!?  
h: the muppets.  
h: baby are you actually a wimpy three year old?   
h: cause we watched IT together and you didn’t jump once  
h: but apparently kids tv shows are too scary for you

p: i’m being bullied? 

h: sweetie nooo 😂

p: :(

h: :)

—— 

smollest keener @abbielongshot 

mom wants to move to new york @potatogunner

 

> harley @potatogunner

but she hates the city?

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

yeah but she’s also self sacrificing and wants us to have better education

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

that’s a good point. come to my room and talk to me like a normal sister should

 

>>>> smollest keener @abielongshot

what do you mean? we are talking

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

yeah but we’re talking about our living situation on twitter?

 

>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

you also may have a good point. i’m coming now wait a sec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very sorry bout not posting much - have had quite a bit of coursework this week and i have my dofe expedition this weekend so i’ll probs not be posting again this weekend? maybe tonight though. 
> 
> very sorry as these are also not the best :)


	15. 99%disgusting 1%cute

Peter lay on his bed in Stark Tower, arms and legs sprawled carelessly across the sheets. His fingers tapped a staccato beat on his chest to the beat of the song playing through his earphones. He had his eyes closed, lost in his half-asleep state. 

The door to his room opened, rousing him slightly, allowing him to see Harley’s head peer around. Once the boy at the door saw him on the bed, he entered, walking over to Peter, taking a seat by his boyfriend’s head. 

Harley carded his hand through Peter’s curls, smirking as the other boy pushed up against his hand. 

He pulled out an earphone, “Hey, Petey-Pie.”

The boy blinked up at him, smiling softly, “Hey Harls. Whatcha doin’?

“Not a lot. Just lookin’ after my princess.”

Peter blushed deeply, turning onto his front, pushing his face into Harley’s thigh, “Sto-op!!” 

Harley laughed, turning Peter over, lifting him gently so that he’d sit up. Peter ended up sat cross-legged directly in front of Harley, with only a few inches between them. 

Harley smiled at the smaller boy, cupping his chin lightly, and pulling him towards himself. Peter stumbled forwards a little, not expecting it, but regained his balance quick enough. 

Peter giggled, for no particular reason, and pushed his forehead onto his boyfriends, noses pressed against each other’s. Harley wrapped a hand around the base of his skull, pulling him even closer, and placed his lips on Peter’s. Just a soft press, just a small peck. 

Their first ever kiss. The first of many.

Peter huffed when Harley began to pull away, and yanked him back, shuffling forward until he was situated comfortably on Harley’s lap, feet under Harley’s bent knees. 

The older boy’s eyes widened, slightly shocked at Peter, but he rolled with it, placing his hands on Peter’s hips, stroking under his t-shirt with his thumb when it slipped under, feeling the warm, soft skin underneath. 

Peter leaned back in, catching Harley’s mouth in a slightly deeper kiss, despite being the inexperienced kisser that he was. Peter whined, soft and quiet, when Harley’s tongue licked at the crease of his lips, pulling them apart gently. 

Licking into his mouth, Harley pushed a hand up under his boy’s t-shirt, trailing calloused fingertips up his back, drawing little patterns over and over, the other hand stroking down his thigh slowly. The smaller boy pushed Harley backwards, forcing him down onto the bed, landing his boyfriend on his back. Peter laughed, before yelping as he’s pulled down against Harley.

Harley grinned against Peter’s lips, content with lying like that for a million years; but Peter started to move, wriggling down Harley’s body to lay his head down on his chest. 

Harley groped around the bed, trying to find Peter’s phone and earphones. He plugged the earbuds into one of Peter’s, then his, ears, turning on the music Peter had been listening to earlier. Harley rose his eyebrows when he heard Frank Ocean, “Bein’ entirely honest with you, baby boy, this is not what i’d expect you to listen to?” he chuckled, “Woulda thought it’d be more like Hamilton or some shitty musical music.” 

Waving a hand, “That comes on next.” then, registering Harley’s words, slapped him lightly on the ribs, “They’re not shitty, dingus.” 

Harley cackled, “Uh, yeah they are, Petey-Pie.”

Peter huffed, “Are not.”

——

harley @potatogunner

petey has a weird music taste- like one second it’s frank ocean and loyle carner, then it’s hamilton and grease or whatever, then it’s fucken elton john

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

it’s not weird. it’s just,,, varied.

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

i completely agree with peter. he’s choosing the music at your wedding brother

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

um what aha

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

wha aha no

 

>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)) hope your teeth rotted and you threw up from the sickly sweetness of this chapter <3


	16. sorry this ain’t great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is crappp and i haven’t written in a weeeeeek soo dieeee with meeeee

dp @deadpool

the author is incredibly sorry for not posting for like,,,,a week :) she has had exams and coursework this last week but it’s no excuse! it’s the weekend now! so more shall come for you all

 

> dp @deadpool

though don’t expect a fuck tonne cause she’s shitty like that :)

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

dude wtf

——

harley @potatogunner

hey what if this is all a game

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

and by ‘this’ you mean??

 

>> harley @potatogunner

life baby. life. what if it’s a game?? like the sims and we’re just like under the complete control of another better being?? like deja vu 

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

how tf does deja vu even begin to fit in?? how longs it been since you last slept harls? 

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

no no it does fit in - see deja vu is a completely unexplained phenomenon but what if it’s cause we’ve already done this level but failed and have to redo it?? and my sleeping patterns do not need discussion

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

so that’s 3+ days without sleep then

 

>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

actually. what h is saying kinda makes sense..?

 

>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

no it doesn’t.

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

god is a woman and she has spoken so we shall not disobey

——

TONY @STARK

Harley just fell asleep on his schematics. @internofstark how long this time?

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

my estimate lands between 3 and 4 days with none, in a week already filled with very little sleep. 

 

>> TONY @STARK

Weird wording but ok. Kid come get your boy.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

omw :)

——

harley @potatogunner

we’re looking at schools in the area and i just realised that you go to school in ny @internofstark ??

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

yeah i literally said this to you yesterday. i swear both you and abbie both acknowledged me and looked up my school???

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

we’re keeners my dear. we don’t take in info at all unless we’re interested.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

heyyy it was interesting!!

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

pete you went off on a rant for like half an hour about this one teacher who neither of us have, after mentioning your school once

 

>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot 

suffice to say, we were not interested.

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

:( noooo i am interestingggg

——

TONY @STARK

Peter just made me watch all of season 1 of Gotham with him. In one sitting.

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

you say this as though you weren’t the one goading me into clicking the next episode button

 

>> TONY @STARK

I wasn’t.

 

>>> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

So, that’s the reason you missed five board meetings, one with the president, and a date with me, then.

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

Cmon Stephanie... When have I ever gone to any board meetings? Ever? And you can’t fool me - I know that the date is on Thursday, I got FRIDAY to set a reminder.

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

mr stark it’s friday today. and fri did remind you but you said, and i quote, ‘the trash doesnt need to be picked up till tomorrow’ when she said he was here to pick you up

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

i feel like it was a misunderstanding but it was a mood all the same

 

>>>>>>> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

Tony.

 

>>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Yes dear.

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as dp said at the start - i’m v sorry about no chapters this week - i had a couple mock exams and art course work but all of that’s out the wayish so i’m right back into it... 
> 
> well sayin that - lets just see how it goes eh


	17. weird siblings.

harley @potatogunner

been watchin a candle melt for 39 minutes straight. absolutely no regrets

 

> smollest keener @abbielongshot

sometimes it’s hard to believe that i am related to you

 

>> TONY @STARK

Honestly, I’m also finding it hard to believe right now, kiddo.

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

abbie once just spent the whole evening staring at the turned off tv. like just sat there and every so often giggling

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

you can’t hold that against me i was only 7. you on the other hand are almost 18.

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

and??

 

>>>>>> TONY @STARK

🤦♂️ Harley.

——

Private Messaging lesbijones -> abbielongshot 

m: hey. 

a: hey?

m: me and ned are ambushing peter and harley’s date tonight  
m: wanna join

a: absolutely  
a: when and where

m: 5:30 tonight at that grim coffee shop by peter’s apartment that they love so much

a: alright see ya there

m: bye 

——

Private Messaging lesbijones -> internofstark, potatogunner

m: see you guys tonight

p: um what? why?

h: no. we’re on a date tonight.  
h: non negotiable 

m: \\_(*-*)_/

lesbijones has gone offline

h: fuck

p: sorry harls

h: pete it’s all ok? not your fault

p: i may have told mj that we were going on a date tonight. and where. and she seemed interested so

h: interested? mj??? nooooo

p: ikr that alone should’ve tipped me off

h: hey it’s fine we can just not go there...

p: what?

h: we could always  
h: go to yours instead.. or to any old rooftop  
h: just sneak off

p: yeah..  
p: yeah that sounds fun!  
p: i’ll pick you up at 5. be ready at your window  
p: you’re still on floor 81 right?

h: yeah i am..?  
h: but the window?  
h: why the window?

p: ;)

internofstark has gone offline

h: great. thanks pete. much help.

——

Peter knocked on the window to Harley’s room, the nanotechnology of his mask already retreating. 

His boyfriend looked up, blinking slightly. He wandered over, and opened the window just wide enough for Peter to crawl through. 

“Hey Pete.” Harley yawned, jaw cracking. 

Peter rose an eyebrow, “Hey, Harls,” he said slowly, watching as the other boy rubbed sleep from his eyes, “How about we stay here tonight.”

“No! We can- We can still go out!”

“Harls, I really don’t mind. I’ve already swung around this part of town today anyway,” he paused, tilting his head, “Though I would like to borrow a shirt and some trackies if you have them, please?”

Harley nodded his head, and shuffled over to his cabinet to grab out some clothes for his boyfriend. Peter took them when offered, and took to the bathroom to change. 

He had to pull the drawstring as tight as he could to get the sweatpants to fit, and fold up the bottoms over his feet, but it was cosy, especially with the way the jumper was drowning him in essence of Harley. He scruffed a hand through his hair, and plodded out to find Harley sprawled on the bed, StarkPad in hand. 

Peter jumped onto the bed, landing next to his boyfriend. He threw an arm over Harley’s chest, as the other boy drew him closer with an arm around his waist. Harley kissed his hairline, handing the StarkPad off to Peter to choose the movie. 

Peter pulled up How To Train Your Dragon, and Harley rolled his eyes, not surprised in the slightest. 

——

smollest keener @abbielongshot

they think they’re so sneaky. managed to get this shot of them from my window. basically. i win brother

sneaky_pete_harley.img

 

> julie mikale @michaelsjulie2001

i mean not being like a stalker or anything,,, but you’d need to full on hang out your window to take that photo sis.

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

so? i got the shot didn’t i? it’s payback for when he took a photo of me and my gf without our explicit permission.

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

jesus christ get over that!??!! she forgave me why can’t you??

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

ok 3 points.  
1 - you’re my brother?  
2 - i’m a keener?  
3 - cause i can?

 

>>>>> harley @potatogunner

ok yeah. all valid points. but still. she’s still my favourite. 

 

>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

yeah me too. 

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

dude cass is your gf of course you prefer her.

 

>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

what do you prefer peter to me huh? i see how it is

 

>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

hey now. bros before hoes sis. i, at least, understand common sibling decency

 

>>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

better. you just called peter a ho btw. might wanna suck up to him. 

 

>>>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

oh shit!! 🖕fuck you sis. all your fault <3

 

>>>>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

right back at you 🖕<3

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>yeeter peter @internofstark

such a weird relationship. i don’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda made that last bit a bit long... whoops.
> 
> also i think i’m gunna stop replying to each and every comment now cause it’s kinda weird and i can never think of what to say but i did it at the start and then thought it would be rude to just suddenly stop or just not reply to some.
> 
> ooh also (again) i dunno whether to make abbie’s gf scott lang’s daughter cassie (but obviously like aged 15 we ain’t pedophiles in here) or to make her  
> gf just another cassie from school  
> or something?
> 
> :)


	18. :))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shitty mcshitface over here (aka me) completely forgot about this fic and started writing a jaytim one instead :) 
> 
> so i’m a shit. and i will still be one when i don’t post for around 4 more weeks cause we love exams :)))

Peter was sat cross-legged on Harley’s bedroom floor playing on his phone, when Harley barged in. 

“Abbie’s gone out.” Peter rose an eyebrow, wondering what was so special about this fact. Harley rolled his eyes, “Means we have the whole floor to ourselves...” His eyebrows lifted up and down, “So, you know what that means!”

Peter looked perplexed, “No... What does it mean?”

Harley laughed, “Means we have complete control over the kitchen, baby boy!” 

Peter laughed, “Ok.” He paused, “Just so you know, I can’t cook. Or bake. To be honest I will probably ruin whatever we attempt to make.”

“That’s cool, I know how to cook. Also, I’m controlling the music, we ain’t havin’ your bipolar playlist on.”

“Hey! It isn’t bipolar!”

“Yeah it is.”

Peter pouted, “Only a little though.”

Harley sniggered. 

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

i regret dating @potatogunner entirely 

 

> harley @potatogunner

aw baby you don’t mean that!! ^_^

 

>> yeeter peter @internofstark

i do

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

i didn’t even do anything!!

 

>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

don’t tell me you think emptying a whole bag of flour over my head is nothing.

 

>>>>> harley @internofstark

but what if i do..?

 

>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

uh oh.

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

@lesbijones what?

 

>>>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

he don’t even know why he done

 

>>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

such sweet innocence

 

>>>>>>>>>> darla @michaelsforeihh

i’m actually a little concerned actually like what’s happening??

 

view more replies

 

——

 

TONY @STARK

So. @internofstark where have you put him.

 

> yeeter peter @internofstark

i don’t happen to like what you’re insinuating mr stark.

 

>> TONY @STARK

And what would that be? I’d like to gently remind you that I have your pet hedgehog in my care right now. And there is a very nice pet re-homing centre right down the road.

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

gASp! you woULdnT?!?!

 

>>>> TONY @STARK

I so would Petey.

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

...yeah you would :(

 

>>>>>> yeeter peter @interofstark

FINE. HES IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM OF MY BUILDING.

 

>>>>>>> TONY @STARK

Oh..kay. Didn’t think that would actually work. We’re gunna come back to your shitty revenge plans later. (Wtf why is he in your laundry room)

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

Of cOurSe it would work?? it’s fox you’re talking about?!?! and it’s not shitty,,, there are other things i have not told you :)

 

>>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

oh that.

 

>>>>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

ohhhh i was wondering what you were gunna do! 

 

>>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

did that.. did that clear up anything? i don’t get it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	19. tony and harley are whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :)

Tony honestly did not know what to expect when he walked into the laundry room. 

The last thing he could have ever expected though, was seeing Harley sat on the floor with his hands tied behind his back attempting to fold a sheet with his mouth at the same time as pushing a load of washing into the washing machine with his feet.

“Is this Peter’s big plan? ‘Cause this isn’t that... devious? By MJ and Ned’s reactions I was expecting much worse.” Tony watched as Harley struggled on the floor for a little bit, attempting to manoeuvre himself into an upright position.

Harley huffed, “No. Apparently this is just stage one.” 

Tony outright laughed, “He’s like a cute version of Pepper. Or Stephen..?” He frowned, “Why are both of my past and present serious relationships based on me being an idiot and then making fun of me?”

Harley sighed, “Join the club.” He pulled on the binds behind his back, “Hey can you help me get this off?”

“I can’t Harls. What if Peter finds out?”

“Are you honestly that worried about what he’ll do? This is the worst punishment he could think of, and it’s not that bad.”

“No, Harls this was stage one. And this was only for emptying flour over his head.” Tony grinned at him, “I think Petey may be a little more Slytherin than we thought.”

“I knew you liked Harry Potter!” Peter’s voice came from behind Tony, “And yes Harls, Tony is correct.”

“Darlin’ you are a Hufflepuff through and through.”

“No not about that, you plonker. About this being stage one.”

Harley sniggered, “What even are your insults?! Plonker?” 

Peter pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at the giggling boy on the floor, “Should I go ask around the building if anyone else has any washing, wonderful boyfriend o’ mine?”

Tony laughed and patted Peter on the back, “C’mon Pete. Let him out, and I’ll take you both out for lunch.”

Peter frowned, tossing up the options, “Fine. When he finishes that load of washing.”

Harley gaped at his little boyfriend, while Tony laughed proudly.

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

he’s trying to buy my forgiveness with sweet potato fries. it’s almost working.

 

> michelle @lesbijones

do not give in. we have phase two and three to get through first.

 

>> ned @guyinthechair

PETER BE STRONG!

 

>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

thanks guys. i was very close to forgiveness.

 

>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

i’m still a little confused. why is flour over his head so bad? 

 

>>>>> cassie @antmansmydad

babyyyy you should know by now that harley must be taught a lesson!

 

>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

so is this flour-head-thing just an excuse for peter to make fun of harley?

 

>>>>>>> cassie @antmansmydad

yeah! basically! and flour is notoriously hard to wash out in the shower cause it goes all sticky and grim when mixed with water.

 

>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark 

that’s exactly it! i had to have an hour long shower yesterday bc of it!

 

>>>>>>>>> cassie @antmansmydad

ugh ikr abbie once did the same to me, but not on that scale. she just rubbed her floury hand into my hair, and honestly revenge was necessary

 

>>>>>>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

ugh keeners amirite @antmansmydad

 

>>>>>>>>>>> cassie @antmansmydad 

ugh u rite.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

aghhh the sweet (secretly evil) S/Os have joined together @abbielongshot

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

oh god this will not end well for us.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

death is imminent 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

goodbye cruel world!

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> michelle @lesbijones

this is reaching new heights of dramatic.

 

——

Peter accepted the sweet potato chips from Harley anyway because he wanted them, and not because Harley looked pretty when he asked. He was standing strong though. MJ, Ned, and him had a plan, and it was a solid plan. 

From across the table, Harley nudged his foot and grinned at him with his mouth full of chips. Peter was hopelessly endeared.

He couldn’t help but smile back, red flush spreading over his cheeks. 

Tony groaned and pushed both of their faces away, “No. No cuddly sweet shit. Today is a day for burgers and manly man talks.”

Peter gasped mockingly, “Mr. Stark, don’t push gender norms onto us! Men can be sweet and cuddly too!” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. But today I wanna talk to you both about science without you two flirting for once.” 

“Impossible.” Harley smirked, “He’s too cute.” Peter blushed a bright red.

Tony groaned, “No! We are here to talk science. And science alone!”

The two boys grinned at each other, and reached across the table to hold hands. They both turned to Tony, mouths turned up in conspiratorial smirks. The man huffed and pouted.

——

Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

Tony Stark. If you are not in the workshop when I get there, I’ll be fuming.

 

> TONY @STARK

Um. Any particular reason, dearest?

 

>> Dr. Strange @StephenStrange

Yet another date you completely forgot about. I may have to chain you to my wrist and drag you to our next date if you don’t turn up within ten minutes.

 

>>> TONY @STARK

Coming dear.

 

>>>> harley @potatogunner

tony just left the restaurant faster than you can say blitzybloo.

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

blitzybloo???? wtf harls

 

>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

:)

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so look at this. 2 updates in 2 days. don’t get used to it :)


	20. flash is not a complete dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👏 straight 👏 people 👏 are 👏 still 👏 valid 👏
> 
> sorry it’s just i’ve read so many fics where it kinda seems like having straight avengers is not?? good?? if you get me? and it’s annoying?
> 
> what kinda world is it if we just swap the hate onto hetero and cis people when we start accepting lgbt?? i mean i’m bi so this isn’t even a myself rant... but still. accept straight and cis people too otherwise youre just as bad as homophobic people 👏👏👏
> 
> rant over :)))

——

yeeter peter @internofstark

@guyinthechair i love you??

 

> ned @guyinthechair 

ofc my dude! i love you too!

 

>> smollest keener @abbielongshot

idk what you’re talking about but you guys are cute

 

>>> harley @potatogunner

idk whether to be jealous or to coo??

 

>>>> michelle @lesbijones

no point being jealous. this is their relationship. ned literally just brought peter back his jumper that he left at ned’s house. 

 

>>>>> yeeter peter @internofstark

cause he’s the best!

 

>>>>>> ned @guyinthechair

duddeee <333

 

>>>>>>> harley @potatogunner

well it’s cute for sure

——

Peter grinned down at his phone while walking down the science corridor at school. 

As he walked passed, Flash smirked at him, “Hey, dickwad. Talkin’ to your boyfriend?”

“Hey Flash,” Peter looked up, lips pulled up slightly, “Yeah. Harley’s all good.”

Flash jerked back a bit, then nodded once, “Huh. Didn’t know you actually had a boyfriend. Good on you Parker.”

Peter smiled at him, and walked on.

——

Private Messaging internofstark -> lesbijones, guyinthechair 

p: hey hey you know that theory we had about flash not acc being a complete dickhead?  
p: it came true!  
p: he was nice to me!

m: i thought we knew this loser?  
m: didn’t you guys agree to a truce earlier this year?

p: yeah but we haven’t acc talked since then

n: well it’s a good thing right!?

p: yeah ofc!  
p: just surreal to talk to him without insults  
p: well he did call me dickwad but i think it was just you know  
p: like how mj you call us losers

m: yup.

n: odd.

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i just wanted to put it out there that i don’t think flash is that bad as a person? i mean he’s a dick,,, but it’s also like school dick if you get me. ik ik i’m still in school what do i know, but like this kid don’t really mean anything does he?

**Author's Note:**

> baby boys on twitter.
> 
> puppy love and tony stark being Done.


End file.
